A hunter's Journal
by Impala67-Ilana
Summary: This is my Journal, my life, my hunts and the person's i met... sometimes i wonder if I even will need it. There is no family of mine and who should i even give it to afterward... but anyways it was Bobby's wish and so I'm going to do it... owe him anyways way to much... Dean sometimes tells me he's writing one, too and i even see Sam writing one... seems common... Pascal Walk
1. 1st entry 2nd February 2010

_Authors note: i can't put in images which is really sad, therefore feel free to visit my .com blog and look into her journal, with pictures. This is a hunter's journal, it's like their life in short words and sometimes it's knowledge... I hope you're okay with that and will like reading it. I won't write any more author's notes and i will thank you all personally for reviews and stuff, but won't mention it here in this drabble collection, as it should stay as close as possible to the original hunter's journal._

_Disclaimer__: supernatural does not belong to me, it belongs to Erik Kripke and co. i just own Pas and her story, thoughts etc. _

_xxx Impala67-Ilana _

**_Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural-__Supernatural_**

**_2nd February, 2010_**

_Bobby gave me this journal, said i should write it down, never know when it might come in handy…._

_Dean's birthday just passed, i bought him pie and a gun( i know he's got thousands of those, but that one looked good… and i thought as a hunter you can never have enough)_

_He's still treating me like a baby, god I'm turning 21 this year, there is not that much of an age difference between us anyways…._

_He left for a hunt with Sam and Cas…. (yes angels exist….)_

_sometimes i wish i would still be in that orphanage and not know, what there is out there in the dark…_

_You don't get to choose your life, you get thrown into it… Sucks doesn't it? But who am I to complain anyways? At least i had 18 years of a decent live…. Dean has been a soldier all his life… makes me wonder, about what person John Winchester had been…_

_Anyways, Bobby said he's going to teach me some stuff about cars, I'm kinda excited… to have a day off from hunting is kind of a miracle…_

******What i know about angels:**

******They exist and need vessels to walk on earth, those vessels are humans of a certain bloodline. Each angel has only one bloodline, which can handle it's grace (angels are gender less, Dean calls them junkless)**

******Angels are stronger than most demons and can't be killed by those, except for using angel-blades. Angels can be send back to heaven by drawing this sigil with fresh human blood, then you just press your hand against that sigil(of course you have to use the bleeding hand) it's kind of barbaric, but i guess the doctor's speaking out of me…**

******Angels can transport themselves and others, to any place known, or even time-travel, though this requires lots of grace (or angel-mojo as Dean calls it) **

_I'm learning more and more day by day, thanks to Cas… though i feel sorry for him… he fell from heaven to help us save the world from Lucifer… how much do our friends need to pay, so we can save this goddamn world? How much do we need to make them all suffer?_

_Pascal Walker_


	2. 2nd entry 4th March, 2010

**_4th March, 2010_**

_Sam and Dean came back from another hunt, Cas later told me it was a shtriga... Dean was more pissed off than usual, something about the hunt?_

_Maybe they fought again? Well I won't ask them... but it feels like this whole Lucifer thing is straining their relationship._

_Dean and Sam both found out, they are the vessels of Michael and Lucifer._

_Asking myself what my role in this apocalypse thing is, with the sword of Michael in my hand, sometimes I wonder, why it's not Dean's._

_I tried giving it to him, but he can't lift it and Castiel said, "The Lord moves in mysterious ways" Dean was ready to shoot him with his favorite shotgun._

_Bobby let me cook today and I nearly burned down the house, I feel useless with Castiel being able to heal their injuries, Bobby doing research and the two brothers hunting, Dean even sometimes cooking for us._

_It's like I want to fit in badly and get reminded I can't, yet Dean calls me sometimes and when he's at the salvage yard, he talks to me for hours._

_He's a great big brother, Sam should be proud, but then again I know Sam is..._

_There is a song stuck in my head from working out at the cars, it was playing in the radio, while Bobby was inside re-searching something for the boys._

_Thousand foot krutch's "Be somebody", Dean would say that is no Rock, but somehow the song fits him really, good... I still don't know much about their past... neither him nor Sam talk about it... and I don't dare to ask about John's journal._

**The shtriga is vulnerable only when its feeding, and then only to consecrated iron. The shtriga is a revenant, a walking undead in a body that should have died a long time ago. It may not technically be dead, but it feeds on the spiritus vitae, draining the life force of its victims.**

**That's what keeps going. Usually it attacks children, working it's way through all of the siblings in a family before moving on to the next.**

_I hope I'll never encounter a shtriga..._

_Pascal Walker_


	3. 3rd Entry 11th April, 2010

_11th April, 2010_

_I'm on a solo-hunt, Bobby's wife Karen is back in the living-world..._

_He won't listen to me, that it's unnatural and that there has to be a price for that... but I think I understand him..._

_Should I be reunited with sister Marie (she was a nun at my orphanage, like a mother to me) I wouldn't want to think about a price tag myself..._

_I took the hunt that came for Bobby instead and am on my Way to Wisconsin..._

_It's a simple salt and burn thing, the ghost of a girl who had been cheated on by her boyfriend._

_Ironically the guy's name was Dean..._

_Though one has to say, Dean Winchester was good in never admitting to relationships, so he'd never be in the position of cheating._

_Cas popped in after having called me on my cell phone, he had our ribs carved with enochian sigils, so no angel or demon could find us, including him._

_He wanted to make sure I was okay, probably an order of Dean..._

_I think the two are in love, without knowing it... the thing between Dean and Cas is at the level of eye-to-eye and personal space issues..._

_I'll keep record if their relationship progresses, though I have to put in here the name 'Cas' is Dean's nickname for 'Castiel'._

**Vengeful spirits:**

**Mostly ghosts of humans who were not able to go into the next level, heaven or hell depends.**

**Those ghosts had violent deaths or don't even know they're dead, some of them want vengeance, other want their murder to be found or the cause of death.**

**There are a million myths and rituals about ghosts and stuff... but I won't write it all down.**

**It narrows to two methods of getting rid of ghosts I know of.**

**1)Salt and burn the remains, therefore you need to have enough background information on the ghost. Find out where it's buried, salt and burn it's remains and hope the thing is done with.**

**2)If it's not there must be an item the ghost is bound to, maybe a brush, a dress, a pencil or whatever, find that and destroy it.**

**Three things you should know:**

**1)No ghost can cross Salt-lines, but it means nothing as they can find ways of breaking Salt lines, but it'll buy you time.**

**2)Shoot a ghost with Salt bullets, buys you some more time, as they need a bit of time to regenerate from salt.**

**3)Pure Iron helps just as much as Salt does, can keep a ghost at bay, but in the end only salt and burn will help.**

_It's hard for me to face ghosts, I always feel like killing the persons once more, especially when I find out what the cause of their deaths was..._

_R.I.P_

_Pascal Walker._


	4. 4th Entry 25th April, 2010

_25th April, 2010_

_It had turned out that Karen and the other 'brought-back people' were in fact dangerous zombies... Bobby had to kill his wife a second time..._

_Sometimes I think it's not fair at all, like everyone gets to play family and those who really deserve it? They get kicked in the ass..._

_Though I'm an observer and if anything good could ever happen or has happened to Bobby, it was that he got Dean and Sam, he loves him like they're his sons._

_I wonder what Cas thinks watching Dean all the time, I notice him appear next to Dean's bed. Though he seems to make himself invisible. I think it's due to the fact, that I have Michael's sword, that I can still see him and his beautiful black wings._

**Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.  
-William Shakespeare**

_I'm glad I was able to meet this hunters and their angel... it feels like there is still good in the world._

_Pascal Walker._


	5. 5th Entry 2nd May 2010

_2nd May, 2010_

_It's Sam's thirty birthday... I wonder how many more are coming for him... he's a Winchester probably many, they don't stay dead for long..._

_He didn't even notice, up until Bobby pushed a book into his hand about angel lore and Dean took him out to his favorite diner in town. I didn't even know Sam had one._

_Bobby later told me, Sam used to love to stay in Sioux Fall and that diner had been his favorite._

_My present to him were two tickets to a movie, Sam had told me he'd liked to see, if he'd have enough time._

_One for him and one for Dean, I think the two need some time together, brother bounding and Sam seems to miss the time with Dean... When they had been close._

**I, who have no sisters or brothers, look with some degree of innocent envy on those who may be said to be born to friends.**

**~James Boswell**

_I kinda understand what James Boswell means, because I'm living this envy..._

_Pascal Walker._


	6. 6th Entry 10th May, 2010

_10th May, 2010_

_The angels are going after Dean and Sam in separate ways, Lucifer after Sam in his dreams._

_And Zachariah after Dean in reality and dreams, I wonder when Dean will finally find a way to deep-fry those bastards._

_So far there was nothing for me to do... It's me who picks the jobs, the boys can't do... because they are busy saving our sorry-asses from the apocalypse._

_I got injured on this hunt, it was actually very simple another salt and burn..._

_But I underestimated the anger of the spirit and got knocked into a tree, one of the branches pierced through my leg._

_I have to get that one stitched, I had played with the thought of asking Cas... but..._

_He's a fallen angel now and has barely any mojo left, to keep himself safe, besides Dean and Sam need him more than I do..._

_I copied the next passage from an internet page, I was looking at, while surfing through the net on information about 'fallen angels'_

**A fallen angel is a wicked or rebellious angel. The term is found neither in the _Hebrew Bible_ nor the _Deuterocanonical Books_ nor the _New Testament._ Nonetheless, biblical commentators often use _fallen angel _to describe angels who _sinned _or angels cast down to the earth from the _war in heaven_, _Satan, demons or certain watchers._**

_I wonder what God thinks about Cas..._

_Pascal Walker._


	7. 7th Entry 30th May 2010

_30th May, 2010_

_Everything's slowly closing in on us, or mostly Sam and Dean..._

_Zachariah got the two, after two hunters had shot them... They didn't say anything about heaven._

_Just that God didn't care about this war and this broke Cas into million pieces, we could tell..._

_I wanted to hug him.. tell him everything's fine and that we don't need god... But it was a lie and it wasn't my place to do that, it was Dean's, but he couldn't_

_The very first time he tried to believe, just to get his hopes crushed, though it seemed that it strengthened Sam's resolve._

_Dean found out about my leg... he was beyond furious and ready to punch me, but he didn't_

_It's his principal rule, to never hit a woman, no matter how stupid she'd be... I wish he would've hit me... Sounds weird, but it would've given me the feeling he'd see me as some part of them._

_Bobby grounded me and believe it or not, for a guy in a wheelchair? He certainly knows how to ground you._

**Families are the compass that guide us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter. **

_**-Brad Henry**_

_If that's the case? I lost my way long ago, am at the bottom and faltered to many times..._

_Pascal Walker_


	8. 8th Entry 7th July 2010

_7th July, 2010_

_The angels brought back Adam... I can imagine for what purpose, but yet... it's right out frightening to what extremes they go..._

_They convinced him that the two are bad... I snapped and slapped him... hard... that stupid idiot really thinks it's that easy._

_I want just for once, to know why everyone is crazy about throwing themselves away? Cas beat the shit out of Dean, after having found him... I probably should say Dean ran away (sent Cas back to heaven and unlocked himself of the panic room)_

_Adam and I kind of got into a friendship... a weird one of teasing and fighting, but he doesn't want to follow the angels' wishes anymore..._

_maybe Free will is really something for us?! We can kick their asses! I bet_

_Dean killed Zachariah... he tricked him and killed him, now it's three Winchester's, a Singer, an angel and the weird Sword-Girl against Lucifer._

**_Life is like a game of cards. The hand you are dealt is determinism; the way you play it is free will.__  
-__Jawaharlal Nehru_**

_I'm believing that Free Will is, what makes the difference between us and the assholes up there..._

_Pascal Walker._


	9. 9th Entry 10th July 2010

_10th July, 2010_

_Adam and I are at Bobby's while Sam and Dean investigate a case, they called demon town._

_I don't know what to think about all of it, it's like the world's ending no matter what we do._

_I try to teach Adam all I know and Bobby helps a great deal in teaching him the hunting stuff, I don't know._

_And god he's still scary even though he's in a wheelchair, he kicked the ass of Adam hard enough to send him to Mexico._

_But the Milligan isn't that bad, he needs a little of teaching in shooting, but he'd be a good hunter if trained well._

_Sam and Dean called once again, they have it with the whores you know? They found the Babylonia whore. And Dean killed her, though she can only be killed by a servant of god._

_By all means, Dean is not the perfect picture of being a monk... well Dean's the least one I would've counted in..._

_Anyways I hope we can stop this apocalypse... please even if none believes in you, I still try God... protect those four... they don't deserve this pain and let Cas get back to heaven... he isn't a fallen... but a real angel..._

**The Whore of Babylon or "Babylon the Great" is a Christian allegorical figure of evil mentioned in the Book of Revelationin the Bible. Her full title is given as "Babylon the Great, the Mother of Prostitutes and Abominations of the Earth."**

**The Whore is associated with the Antichrist and the Beast of Revelation by connection with an equally evil kingdom._(The word "Whore" can also be translated as "Idolatress".)_The Whore's apocalyptic downfall is prophesied to take place in the hands of the beast with seven heads and ten horns. There is much speculation within Christian eschatology on what the Whore and Beast symbolize as well as the possible implications for contemporary**

_Hand it to the Winchester's to encounter her, if anyone? It's Dean who is the one to kill her..._

_Pascal Walker_


End file.
